Grandkids

I was asking my dad some questions from the Grandpa book today. A few of them were questions about grandkids. I could hear the regret and sadness in his voice when he was answering them. Having both kids living in different states he feels like he doesn't have a relationship with his grandkids. It's breaking my heart as I do want them to know him and now the opportunity is gone. I had a hard time holding back tears as he was talking. It doesn't help that my kids have expressed a desire to live next to their grandparents. They are longing for that relationship as well. I love our life here in Vermont but wish my parents could have lived closer.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and can be really hard to process and live with. I am thankful to have great memories of our trips to Colorado.

Grandpa book

As I'm going through the book with my dad, I am learning so much about him. There are things that I thought I knew about him, but I'm finding that some of my assumptions are wrong. It is fun finding new things that we have in common. I wish I had started this much earlier. He really is a truly amazing person, and I'm not ready to let go. I've always felt like he as so much he could teach me and now all that knowledge will be lost.

I am so excited to go home in February. I am constantly thinking about that trip. My brother will be out there as well. It will be the first time just the four of us (plus David) will be together in at least 10 years.

90 days and counting

Well, I set up this blog quite some time ago but this is my first entry. After finding out that my dad's cancer is progessing I felt like I wanted to have a place to write about it. I found out over a week ago that he is unlikely to make it one more year. Up until then I had operated under the naive idea that he would always be here. I never imagined a time where I couldn't pick up the phone and call him.

I immediately ordered a book called Grandpa Do You Remember When. Now I am relishing our daily talks where he answers questions from the book. I'm learning things about him that I never knew and now my kids will now more about him as well.

At his last appointment the "experts" said that he has around 90 days. As of today that number is down to 88. I am going to spend the next 88 days soaking in everything I can from him. Including a visit home in a few short weeks.